briefly...

Man it has certainly been a long time since I have reported here. The months seem to have flown by. Life feels like a busy whirlwind, or an engulfing swell of an ocean wave. I am tired.

I have been in an actual dating relationship for about 6months. It has been so many things all in such a short amount of time. Life all together is a bit messy including working this thing out. Sometimes I get mad that my dad isn't here, it is times w/ men that make me acutely aware of my fatherlessness. There is no doubt that God has stepped in and more then compensated, but truly I long to have a familiar man to whom I feel loved and known by to rest my head upon his physical shoulder and be his little girl. Yet those moments are few and for the most part I am able to rest my soul upon the shoulder of peace and leadership that my heavenly Father extends daily.

I like much about this man-boy. He is kind, and thoughtful. He is lovely to my eyes and strong. He loves people especially the poor and homeless. He tries. He feels conviction and generally responds. We enjoy nearly all the same activities and he is willing to go outside of his comfort zone often.

But we have many of the same weaknesses which makes it hard to strengthen each other. Healthy communication has never been more difficult. We both have hurts and hangups that we are mending through. He's fairly new on his committed walk w/ Jesus and that adds another interesting element.

I want to know how people just "know"...when it's the person to marry.

I am ending a shift at work and the morning is now beginning so I have to cut this short. But I hope to come back soon.