in lincoln city...wish i had captured more.

"Almost Lover"

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left you kissed my lips

You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy for you

To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

Three passions have governed my life: The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind]. Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined. With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine. Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, But always pity brought me back to earth; Cries of pain reverberated in my heart Of children in famine, of victims tortured And of old people left helpless. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer. This has been my life; I found it worth living.

Bertrand Russell: adapted

Lyrics to Redemption :

The darker the night the brighter the day

the fiercer the fight the stronger the faith

so i place my hope in You

the deeper the sin

the stronger the blood

the more to forgive

the more reason to love

so i place my trust in You

in Your ways oh God

redemption is so much better than perfection

in Your ways oh God

over and over

You prove You're so faithful

over and over

You prove Yourself a redeemer

the darker the night

the brighter the day

the fiercer the fight

the stronger the faith

so i place my hope in You

in Your ways oh God

redemption is so much better than perfection

in Your ways oh God

redemption is so much better than perfection

in Your ways oh God

over and over

You prove You're so faithful

over and over

You prove Yourself a redeemer

in Your ways i have

redemption

so much better than perfection

so i place all my hope in You

Lyrics to Trust:

It's the sweetest thing

to trust you

just to know

You got everything under control

it's the sweetest thing

to trust you

just to know

You got everything

and You are making me a mountain

making me a mountain

that cannot be shaken

well You are making me a mountain

making me a mountain

that cannot be moved

high up on a rock

looking out at the horizon

watching as the storm rolls in

wondering if my heart will survive it

as the waves crash all around me

and can't remember what it feels like to be free

i know You're making me a mountain

making me a mountain

that cannot be shaken

oh You are making me a mountain

making me a mountain

that cannot be moved

You say, I've got you my baby

I've got you

it's quite the mess you're in

but it's nothing Love can't fix

so sit here upon my shoulders

and watch as it all unwinds

You are making me a mountain

making me a mountain

that cannot be shaken

i know You're making me a mountain

making me a mountainthat cannot be moved

briefly...

Man it has certainly been a long time since I have reported here. The months seem to have flown by. Life feels like a busy whirlwind, or an engulfing swell of an ocean wave. I am tired.

I have been in an actual dating relationship for about 6months. It has been so many things all in such a short amount of time. Life all together is a bit messy including working this thing out. Sometimes I get mad that my dad isn't here, it is times w/ men that make me acutely aware of my fatherlessness. There is no doubt that God has stepped in and more then compensated, but truly I long to have a familiar man to whom I feel loved and known by to rest my head upon his physical shoulder and be his little girl. Yet those moments are few and for the most part I am able to rest my soul upon the shoulder of peace and leadership that my heavenly Father extends daily.

I like much about this man-boy. He is kind, and thoughtful. He is lovely to my eyes and strong. He loves people especially the poor and homeless. He tries. He feels conviction and generally responds. We enjoy nearly all the same activities and he is willing to go outside of his comfort zone often.

But we have many of the same weaknesses which makes it hard to strengthen each other. Healthy communication has never been more difficult. We both have hurts and hangups that we are mending through. He's fairly new on his committed walk w/ Jesus and that adds another interesting element.

I want to know how people just "know"...when it's the person to marry.

I am ending a shift at work and the morning is now beginning so I have to cut this short. But I hope to come back soon.

Each day is unlike any other,
knowing not what it holds
I press into what I know.

You, O Lord, are where my hope comes from,
in You alone
will I find peace and strength.

All around me I see tears
and putrid masks of mucus,
lies to hide the pain.
Where is your beauty
in the ugliness of deceit?

But Your words are the truth
and in them I surrender my angst.
You, O Lord hold the world
and each of its inhabitants in your hands.

Draw near to me God,
for who am I that one more day
should add to my years?
I am fatherless
and attending,
in disgraceful moments
the masquerade.

I cast myself broken before you
and you draw near to bind my wounded heart and crushed spirit.

I know not my future,
not even what my next moment holds.
I cling instead to You, Holy Spirit
and know, O God that...
I...
know...
You.

Praise and glory to the maker of the stars,
worship to the creator of my heart.
one day I will dance dithyrambicly in your presence
and be consumed by the power
of your love.

Indeed my God you are steadfast and true.
I will seek you by day and by night,
until my body is stilled and my soul released.

New Year and Prom

2008 has began! whewww crazy to think my 10 year high school reunion will be in only 2 years! I am officially 26 years old. Man life is off to one heck of a start this year. The job is incredible, it has stretched me and been a part of working some intense spiritual transformation within me. I have found a sister and kindred soul by working side by side with one of the most amazing women I have known. The women I work with are a gift to my life and I can't imagine being without this experience. I don't know how long the Lord will keep me there, but every day I stay is a treasure.
I was able to enjoy a truly delightful event with a dear friend of mine, and indeed we threw one heck of a party: Winter Wonderland Prom 2008! Here are some photos from the event: